Vertigo
by crackberries
Summary: Gilbert has slipped into a sleep, where he has fallen off the edge.  And is continuosly falling, because his brain does not seem to want to pull him back into consciousness.
1. Chapter 1

Dream

a state of mind characterized by abstraction and release from reality

* * *

******1:49 a.m, February 25th. Year unknown.**

Twenty nine year old Gilbert Beilschmidt, tired from work, slips in to bed almost immediately after he comes home.

He missed his regular bus from the gas station where he works cash, and public transit is more sporadic when it is late at night. It has been nearly two hours since his shift had finished; a tiring extension into what was already a bleary day. His brother, twenty six year old Ludwig Beilschmidt, is still working his shift as a barman at the local pub.

As he travels the ten steps required to get from the door to the mattresses on the ground, he shucks off his dirty shoes and jacket and pulls his grease-stained worker's t-shirt over his head and tosses it to the side. In a happier time, Ludwig would have been there to chastise him on leaving his clothes lying around; in a happier time, they'd have a real closet to put those clothes in and not just a hamper in the corner of their one-room apartment.

He picks up a relatively clean white t-shirt lying on the ground and slips it on; it is one of Ludwig's shirts from high school, he assumes, by the logo of a wild animal on the front and an acronym on the back. He doesn't bother rinsing his mouth or washing his hands, and makes a beeline for the mattress that he's claimed for himself.

As he slips into bed and pulls the large, old comforter over his body, he thanks the powers that may be that the month has been warm and relatively snow-free. His eyes close as soon as he hits the pillow, and within the next fifteen minutes, he falls into a deep sleep.

* * *

_The forest is large; lush. Nothing like what he has seen in his entire lifetime of living in the run-down side of the city. It's familiar though, and he is walking through it. The air is crisp and cool, and enough sunlight is shining through the trees to give him a clear view of his path. He's filled with tranquility, peace, and for some reason, pride._

_As if he owns this place._

_But he doesn't, as he is reminded by the uniform he is wearing that belongs to the gas station he works at._

_And it angers him. He needs to quell that anger; he can't let it take over his mind again._

_So he starts to discard each piece of clothing as he walks, because he_ knows _he's in a dream and he's enjoying it; he doesn't want real life rearing its ugly head._

* * *

Arthur Kirkland, owner of the local pub, has started to fidget. The bar is unusually empty, and Ludwig is wiping down counters.

"Lad," He calls out to Ludwig. "Do you know what the date is?"

"I believe it is the 25th of February, sir." Ludwig replies, baritone crisp and clear as always, even when he is thoroughly overworked.

Arthur frowns, and goes back to manually counting the change in the cash register. It's not completely necessary, but it gives him something to do as he runs over a list in his head of all the mundane chores he needs to do in the morning. Early in the morning, he corrects himself mentally, because he vaguely remembers having some appointment with some person at some place close to lunch time.

"Beilschmidt." He says. "Ludwig. I think we can afford to close early tonight."

"As you wish, sir." Ludwig does not question why and merely hopes he will be getting paid the hours taken away from his shift.

Fifteen minutes later, the dingy building is locked up, and the two men are bidding each other farewell. Ludwig tightens his black trench coat around him, staving off chills till his bus arrives ten minutes late.

He gets on, and there is no one there except for the elderly man driving the bus. No one else comes on in the twenty minute drive back to his apartment, and Ludwig is thankful that he has gotten home a little early.

* * *

_He's rather liking this place. It's unusually quiet, with no birds chirping or animals skittering. All he can here is the soft thud of his feet echoing through the woods, as he walks through._

_But the woods are getting sparse, and he can see a green clearing up ahead. For no particular reason, he breaks out into a jog because that clearing seems just so appealing. He runs and runs, and the clearing still seems the same distance away._

_He knows he'll make it._

* * *

Ludwig opens the door quietly because he knows Gilbert is probably home by now. Earlier on, he wouldn't have bothered because Gilbert would have been out at a club or a bar with friends and wouldn't announce his presence till either early morning or the following afternoon.

Now Gilbert is (lucky enough to be) the first one home, and Ludwig is the one that has to sneak into the house.

He walks in to the nearly bare apartment, sliding his coat off and resting it on a hook near the doorway. Gilbert, like usual, has left his clothes strewn all over the floor but Ludwig is too tired, like usual, to pick up after him. Ludwig sees his brother fast asleep, and is glad to see that for a change, his brother looks like he's at peace. It's different from the usual worried expression that haunts the man, even in his sleep.

He finds his pyjamas at the bottom of the hamper and pulls them on quickly. He considers making a warm glass of milk before he sleeps, but remembers that they are nearly out and they've already spent their grocery money for the week.

When Ludwig lies down on top of his mattress opposite Gilbert, sleep comes as easily to him as it does to his brother. Except his sleep is slightly different from the one his brother has fallen in to.

* * *

_It comes too quickly. Gilbert feels the ground slip out from underneath him as he over shoots the clearing which has morphed into a cliff._

_Gilbert is falling._

_He enjoys the moment, the sensation, for a few seconds, because he feels air rushing against his skin and whistling along as he falls._

_But before he hits the ground, he closes his eyes and pinches himself. He's never liked dying in dreams, and always wakes himself up before the opportunity arises._

* * *

The alarm goes off; it's seven in the morning. Ludwig drags himself out of bed to make strong coffee for himself. He knows today is Gilbert's day off, and he knows that today is his long shift at the local grocery store. Having worked there since fifteen, Ludwig has earned some seniority and gets enough money for both him and Gilbert to take a day off from work each week.

His brother seems to have been extremely exhausted; he is sleeping soundly, not even flinching the slightest. Ludwig leaves the house after a shower and an energy drink, closing the door gently as to not wake his brother up.

* * *

_Gilbert opens his eyes, expecting to wake up in real life or turn up in another dream. He's still falling, and even as he pinches, slaps, and even punches himself, he's not waking up._

* * *

When he comes home twelve hours later, Ludwig will open the door with less care because he will expect his brother to be watching basic cable on their second-hand television or loafing about. Instead, he will see Gilbert still in bed, still sleeping. Nothing in the house will have been moved except for Gilbert's body, which will be lying on its side, leaving Ludwig suspicious.

He will put his hand on his brother's forehead, he will feel the pulse, he will check his skin; nothing will be wrong with Gilbert.

It will appear as if he's still sleeping.

* * *

_He's still falling._

* * *

**AN: **Just something I wrote as a stress reliever some time ago that I finally got to editing. Title's derived from the fat that I don't have a story that begins with a V ;) **edit: **oh wait i do. ooops :P May have 2 or 3 more accompanying chapters so it makes a tiny bit more sense haha. Reviews are really appreciated :)


	2. Chapter 2

O sleep, O gentle sleep,  
Nature's soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,  
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down  
And steep my senses in forgetfulness?

Henry IV, William Shakespeare

* * *

_He wonders if when he wakes up, he'll be mentally sound again. Everyone likes to joke he's a bit on the insane side, but Gilbert generally prides himself on not landing in the 'loony bin', as he likes to call it. _

_He is strangely clothed again, in the same clothes he wore when he went to sleep again. It makes no difference since this is a dream; no one is going to see him in the first place._

___His body is frozen as he continues to free fall. He cannot get bored, since his perception on time has become so warped._ He would like to say he's gone through half a day, due to the fact that the colour whirring around him is slowly shifting and darkening. It feels like an eternity, yet he's sure he's only been sleeping for five minutes.

* * *

**6:38 p.m, May 8th.**

Ludwig knocks lightly on the door.

"It's Ludwig." He says clearly, and he hears a faint "Come in, it's unlocked."

He opens the door, to be greeted by the smell of food wafting through the apartment. The large windows in the living room are open, and sun shines through, lighting up his brother's figure on the couch.

Two of his brother's friends are sitting by the foot of the couch, one silently reading as the other flickers through channels on the T.V.

They are currently in Arthur Kirkland's apartment, which is much more comfortable than the one the Beilschmidt brothers lived in. He shares it with Kiku Honda, who owns a convenience store on the corner of the street where Arthur's pub is located and is the one reading.

And now he also shares it with Gilbert Beilschmidt, because Ludwig cannot afford hospital bills on his own. It is not the smartest arrangement, but Matthew Williams, Arthur Kirkland's cousin, is in school for nursing or medicine or something like that, and with the help of Arthur, is taking good care of Gilbert. They powder him so that he doesn't get bed sores, they check his pulse, and they are amazed on how Gilbert's body doesn't seem to suffer any repercussion from sleeping so long. They have devised a home-method of feeding Gilbert baby food and other liquids, but they do not share it with Ludwig.

When Alfred, another cousin of Matthew and Arthur's, comes over, he has a habit of prodding Gilbert all over and exclaiming it must be magic or an alien experiment. Ludwig will take it with a smile, while on the inside he only wishes the answer was that simple. Or that obvious.

Because he needs to know what's wrong with his brother.

He walks across the apartment, and Matthew and Kiku shift over to make room for him. He leans over Gilbert and brushes a few strands of messy hair from his forehead.

Arthur has also taken the liberty of keeping Gilbert's hair and beard trimmed and shaven respectively, so the man won't be immediately shocked when he wakes up.

Ludwig thinks it will be unnecessary, because telling Gilbert he's been asleep for a third of a year will send him into a shock strong enough to mute him.

That is, of course, if Gilbert wakes up any time soon.

So far, Matthew, Arthur, Kiku, and Alfred are the only ones that know about this. When two days had passed by without Gilbert waking up, Ludwig had ended up unintentionally spilling his woes on to Arthur.

Who had surprisingly offered him a solution. He was curious (and still is) about Gilbert's case, and told he had a cousin who was able to take care of the sick and a friend who was good with working with herbs that might work.

Rationality escaped Ludwig (as he finds it doing more and more often) and he agreed to it.

That's how, for the past few months, Gilbert has had a better roof over his head than Ludwig could probably ever provide. Ludwig is too tired to question anything, and he just goes with the flow. When they had a bit more money, he would have insisted on a doctor at least making a house visit.

But as the saying goes, beggars can't be choosers, and Ludwig has to constantly swallow his pride and let them take care of his brother, even if they sometimes treat him like a science experiment.

* * *

_He hasn't woken up yet, and time is slowly becoming a foreign concept. It feels like it's been too long, and it feels like only seconds have passed. It's getting dark, and he can only assume it's becoming nighttime in whatever world he is in._

_He wants to wake up. He _needs_ to wake up, because if he doesn't, no body will take care of the house, no one will take care of Ludwig, and no one will take care of his people. Those he loved._

_How ever many of them were left in the real world._

* * *

**8:49 a.m, July 1st.**

He is still not used to Gilbert not being there, even though it's been months since he's been moved to Arthur's. He's been saving up for some time now, and he plans to use that money to get Gilbert into a semi-decent hospital. Arthur has been insisting that they keep Gilbert under his care, and since Gilbert seems to be doing just fine.

He does not like this sense of dependency, because he does not feel like he is doing anything for Arthur other than keeping up his bar. Which he still does for pay.

It almost feels like a charity sort of work. and some times Ludwig can't help but think Arthur has some ulterior motives. He thinks that those piercing green eyes are hiding a secret; or maybe he's just being paranoid. Maybe he and Matthew are just _using _Gilbert; and when they're done their little experiments with him and he's still asleep, he's going to be carted off to some freak show.

Ludwig has known Arthur for a while, and it's been cordial for the most part.

So he has no reason to mistrust him so much,

But he can't help that he's _worried._

A knock on the door snaps him out of his thought, and he heaves himself up from his mattress to answer the door. He looks through the peephole first, because they (or just _he_ now, since Gilbert is gone) don't exactly live in a reputable area, but it's just his neighbour.

He opens the door to the short and smiling blond.

"Good morning, Tino." He greets the young man who he's seen peddling shady goods to various other tenants in the apartment building. "How are you?"

"Good." Tino replies with the ever-present wide smile that could have gotten him a job on television had he decided that maybe running away from home was not the best way to go. "Hana-Tamago has been slightly sick lately."

Tino's dog is always sick, but Ludwig decides not to comment. Tino ploughs on.

"I accidentally got two copies of the paper this morning, so I think they might have missed giving you yours."

He holds out the stack of newspaper, and Ludwig takes it. He doesn't have a subscription since he picks a different copy up free from the main lobby of the building, but he doesn't mind more news.

"Thanks." He says, giving a small smile. "I hope your dog gets better."

Tino thanks him for the wish, and they say their farewells. As Ludwig closes the door, he notes the date on the newspaper.

_July 1st. _

That, if he remembers correctly, is Matthew's birthday. He supposes a birthday call is in order, so he dials the number. After a few seconds, the phone is picked up by Alfred.

"Sorry, Matt's taking a nap right now." He tells Ludwig. "I'll tell him you called though."

"Thank you." Ludwig says, and they hang up shortly after.

A few days later, he calls Alfred's house to wish him a happy birthday as well, but this time no one picks up. Assuming that they would be at Arthur's, he calls Arthur. Arthur gives some vague description of what's happened to them but goes no further into detail.

After that, when Ludwig visits him, he sees Kiku step out of a room and lock it. But not before he catches sight of two cots, each with a sleeping blond on it.

* * *

_The millionth time he opens his eyes, the colour that he is falling through has started to even out into a dark blue. He can make out stars, and the air whipping around him starts to have an actual temperature. It's cold like the winter wind, cutting through his skin like a thousand little knives. Below him, a landscape starts to unfurl._

_It also starts to grow larger and larger, and it seems to be a vast desert with sand. He is suddenly able to move his body. He knows what's going to happen next, and braces himself for the fall._

* * *

**9:31 p.m, October 3rd.**

Tired. There is no other word to describe it. He is tired and he is frustrated as he comes back from his shift at the grocery store. He is angry at Arthur for being able to have Gilbert stay with him, but he is more angry at himself for being poor and having to rely on Arthur. He misses his brother and he hopes that somewhere in the depths of his sleeping mind, Gilbert misses him too.

He takes off his shoes, taking care to put them away even though fatigue has completely taken over his body. He stares at the empty mattress that has been made for months.

He misses his brother.

Ludwig puts on his pyjamas, wrinkling his nose at the slight musk. He needs to remember to do laundry. He brushes his teeth and washes his face. He sees black bags under his dulled blue eyes, and crow's feet starting to make themselves clear near his eyes. But he has tomorrow off, and he plans to get as much sleep as he can. Maybe it may not make his face look any younger, but it may make him closer to his own age as opposed to now where he looks twice his age and world weary.

He turns off all lights, and only the streetlights from outside pool into the apartment. After he slips into bed, he finds sleep taking over him quickly. It's been the first time in months that he has been able to do this easily, so he lets his body lull off into a deep sleep.

* * *

_He lands, crashes._

_He hits hard ground, and dust flies everywhere. His ribs ache, something that is worsened by the fact that he is thrown into a fit of coughs . He throws his arm over his eyes to shield his eyes from more dust._

_"Ludwig!"_

_His head is swimming, so he can't identify the voice. but he can see a shadowy figure looming over him. It's crouching down, and he feels two fingers press against his neck._

_"Ludwig..."_

_A face lowers itself to make itself clearer and he can see the outlines of his brother's facial features._

_"Gilbert?"_

_He's suddenly enveloped in a warmth- but it feels slightly detached. The pain has started to ebb away into a dull ache instead of the sharp pain from before. After a few moments, it is completely gone and his vision clears._

_"What...where have you been?"_

_The warmth leaves him, as his brother lets go of the embrace._

_"Can you sit up?" Gilbert asks, still crouching beside him. Gilbert's face looks oddly clean and relaxed, as if someone has scrubbed away all the worries that had made themselves physically evident._

_ Ludwig attempts to get up and finds that he can. His bones creak, and it sends an odd sensation throughout his body. All he remembers is falling asleep._

_"You're dreaming." As if Gilbert could almost read his mind, he answers. "I think I'm still dreaming too."_

_"You..." Ludwig doesn't know what to say. Dreams are supposed to make sense, no matter how ludicrous, but he's not gaining an understanding. Gilbert is crouching beside him, dressed in Ludwig's old high school t-shirt and his work jeans that he hadn't bothered shucking off before he had slipped into bed a few months ago. _

_To find something to say, he looks around. They seem to be in some sort of desert, and he assumes the sun has either just set or is just rising by the pink and orange light washing over the sky. All he can see is dunes and sand, and a tiny silhouette with a very vague shape off in the distance._

_"Where are we?" _

_Gilbert shakes his head. "I told you. We're in a dream. I've gone through the cycle of a day in here."_

_"A day?" Ludwig blinks, and Gilbert nods. "Why, how long have I been sleeping for?"_

_Ludwig debates whether or not to tell Gilbert. It might send the man into a state of shock and it may not be the best idea..._

_But if it was him, he would want to be told. He's wondering if he's going through the same thing as Gilbert. Hell, he's now wondering how long he's been sleeping for, if it took so long for Gilbert to go through one day in his dreams..._

_"It's October right now." He says, and attempts to stand up. Gilbert would help, but he's been sent reeling. Red-violet eyes grow wide as his brother fumbles, but manages to get on his two feet. _

_For once in his life, Gilbert is struck speechless while in company. Ludwig extends a hand, which he takes half-heartedly as he is pulled onto his feet. Ludwig wants to embrace his brother, but at the same time he wants to shake him and tell him to speak. He hasn't had any contact with his brother, and before he wakes up, he wants to talk to him and tell him he loves him before real life takes him back and he has to go back tending to his brother's still and sleeping body._

_"Gilbert..." He starts, but his brother waves him off. _

_"You're stuck here too." Gilbert's voice is unusually quiet, and sounds very resignated. "You and me... We're stuck here. I don't know if it's in your dream or mine."_

_Ludwig cannot understand that. A shared dream seems like things of fantasy, something completely implausible. _

_"I don't understand it either." Gilbert sighs quietly, and Ludwig is once more disconcerted by how it seems as if his brother can read his mind. Maybe he can, maybe on will if he wants to; but then whose dream is Ludwig in?_

_He pinches the bridge of his nose, starting to slightly massage the skin there._

_"We need to go there." __Ludwig looks to where Gilbert is pointing. It's that vague silhouette out in the distance. "Other than you and me, it's the only the thing that exists in this dream."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Look at the outline of it. It's uneven. But it's not as distinctive as mountains would be. I'm betting it's a city, and I'm betting that's where we need to go. It's always like that in dreams."_

_Maybe this is Ludwig's dream, since his brother sounds like he has some logic. __Or maybe it's Gilbert's dream, since Ludwig finds himself automatically believing him._

_"Let's walk there then." He says, shielding his eyes from what is now the rising sun and looking towards the direction of the 'city.' Then a thought crosses by him, a thought that Gilbert does not automatically answer, so he decides to voice it out loud. "If it's a dream, isn't there a possibility we'll never reach?"_

_"Maybe." Gilbert shrugs. "We won't know till we try it."_

_A question is still nagging within Ludwig._

_"And if we don't reach it?" He asks, because that silhouette looks awfully far away. But they wouldn't need provisions in a dream world, would they? They were already sleeping, so they could trek days on end without need for rest, shelter or food. If this was a dream, surely they could conjure up something if needed through sheer will power._

_"If we don't reach it..." Gilbert pauses to think, and Ludwig can hear his brain whirring and whispering. He wonders if this is what Gilbert hears when he thinks. He wonders if his thinking is interrupting Gilbert's train of thought. But if they were in a dream, that means that one or both of their minds were open to be read by the other. After all, it was where they currently were._

_"If we don't reach it, then I guess we sleep forever."_

* * *

oof! thanks for all the reviews, faves, and alerts guys :D

it might seem a little unrealistic but this was really just me writing whatever came to mind haha.

reviews are really appreciated :D


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